your dick is fine. so stop being a dick.
it’s biological and cultural, self sexuality underlies gender relations.
both women and men don’t know what they want or why they want it or conceal what they want, and the repression of self sexuality is at the root of it. and repression leads to oppression of women. it’s not really women who have penis envy as the oedipal misogonyst sigmund freud rationalized. men have really big penis issues — and let’s not say “that’s what she said.”
let’s get all the way down to core male confidence issues that lead to over compensation in their modern gender relations. the average penis size among men is 5.1 inches. according to data, women think they prefer a penis of 7 inches, which according to studies is in the top six percent. upon further investigation with actual length, the preferred size is much closer to average and the size they thought they preferred is reported as causing discomfort.
men think their penis is smaller because of foreshortening when they look down at it themselves. watching porn, where the penis size is generally in the top one percent, they think they are far below average and have anxiety and confidence issues because of it. men think they are less manly because they think they have tiny dicks, and therefore are more likely to act like a dick. (it’s actually the balls that matter in sexual selection for mating, but we digress.)
also, it is believed that one in six men have been sexually abused as children, but these numbers go mostly unreported, it could be much higher. men who have been raped or molested are more likely to overcompensate with atypical sexual relations towards women. men who suppress or are confused about their own homosexuality are also likely to display atypical and dominance issues over women to assert what they feel is a typical masculine norm, bury their own sexuality, and it manifests itself in harmful social interactions. men are also more likely to exaggerate the number of their sexual partners.
this has everything to do with asserting dominance and proving their virility to other men in competition for reproductive access. it’s men who have penis issues that cause them in other men. from an early age of towel snapping and penis jokes in locker rooms, men penis shame each other to lower the confidence of their potential competitors. it’s men who think a big penis is better. really, women report, they all have their own preferred size (and the g spot is only about two inches deep in there, guys. but you still have to find it.).
it is necessary for men who have these issues to dominate women to feel ok about themselves in this culture, largely because of male peer group interactions. in ancient cultures, such as classical greece, we know that the smaller penis was preferred. in roman culture, the penis — or fascinum — was a good luck charm, but priapus, the god represented with an erect penis as long as his body is tall, was viewed as an aberration. in ancient eastern african cultures, women were selected for breeding based upon weight distribution that signals their ability to care for infants. men are visually stimulated by women, they are much more likely to judge them physically subconsciously as mates.
however, analyzing google search patterns, researchers show that what we say we find beautiful and what we want as a sexual partners is disconnected so people can feel culturally normal. according to searches, men prefer heavier women and watch more porn of them, but don’t say so publicly because white culture fat shames. women watch far more porn than they report. much, much more. and it can be pretty kinky, but that doesn’t mean they want to have actual sex that way just because they look at it.
sexism is built into our culture from the beginning. gendered romance languages stem from the formation of the root indo european language that has been traced back to the caucasus tens of thousands of years ago. during that period, it is believed that homo sapiens was still living in troop/tribe structures similar to gorillas and chimpanzees where alpha male dominance over females and juvenile males were normative. archaic humans lived much more like prides of lions — their major predators. and there is ancient polygamy, such as in the islamic and hebrew faiths that both originate with Abraham and his many wives.
the concept of modern love in relationships and marriages is a product in our media culture that is very recent and stems from romance literature and spread by film. prior to this, marriages were economic transactions and arranged between men — this still continues in cultures with less access to media. in slave societies, from ancient to modern, sexual and gender relations were dictated by pure chattel ownership or self-prostitution for debt slavery. money became interwoven with sex from the moment our culture created a system of economic values to shift from hunter gathering with tribes to a civilized socioeconomic pattern.
despite everything, this is absolutely the best time in the whole history of human culture to be a woman. the change that is happening now is spreading like wild fire due to the democratization of social media that gives voice to previously disenfranchised from white rich male dominated media access. but most importantly, women can divorce men legally in current modern cultures, gaining freedom over their own reproduction and bodies.
over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, of those that don’t divorce over 50 percent are in unhappy or abusive relationships but stick with it because culturally, we view divorce as a failure. it is likely that less than ten percent of marriages are real romances. as we live longer now, women live much further past their reproductive peak. for cultural reasons adapted to biology, those women are valuable as child care givers while younger women work to support the life ways and food ways in primitive cultures. women’s wages and ability to provide for themselves are kept inferior to men so that they remain vulnerable as reproductive targets by men. our culture is adapted to maintain those biological patterns. in many cultures, men can legally rape their wives and marry multiple young women to get the most of her fertile years.
we are the only mammal in the ecosystem that has a menstrual cycle instead of an estrus cycle for fertility — and there is no such thing as foreplay in the animal kingdom. there are courtship rituals designed around natural selection for both male and female of species, but the act of copulation is nothing like humans. male mammals hump to assert dominance over both males and females. dolphins engage in promiscuous sexual activity for pleasure, but not copulation. (interestingly enough, we are also the only animals who deprive ourselves of sleep. we also eat for pleasure. our frontal lobes make us weird.) the only other primate cousin of ours who is not sexually dimorphic in size and mates for life are gibbons. birds, descended from one of the most ancient of species on earth, dinosaurs, are the other members of the animal kingdom where species evolved patterns that mate for life.
access to and ownership of women’s reproductive rights is the basic form of modern women’s liberation. all major organized religions have a form of controlling women’s reproductive access built into their doctrine. homosexuality is sin because you don’t make babies to grow the church, birth control is a sin, women’s freedom over having sex or not for pleasure is a sin. women are shunned during their menstrual period. women serving men to have their babies has been the cultural norm for tens of thousands of years.
a woman’s right to choose wether she has a baby or not instead of a man is absolutely the most important thing in basic freedom over her own personal sovereignty. that’s what being woke is to the whole history of human gender relations. men are driven to dominate and rape for lots of biological and cultural reasons. and men rape and dominate each other much for the same reasons. women seek to wrest the control of her reproductive process from male domination, from being a beta female to submit to an overpowering alpha male, to an economic commodity and possession, to being objectified for sex and harassed.
and that right there, is some bioanthropological and ethnographic mansplaining to men why they are dicks to women and don’t even think about it because their nature created a culture to keep it alive.
once you can recognize it, you’re smart enough to escape it. relax, your dick is fine and you don’t really need to dominate women, our culture has outgrown the biological need. our culture is changing, as cultures do continually, so that in order for you to have a sexual relationship, it will no longer be based upon male domination and competition for mates. it will be based upon consensual relationships.
yes, you are horny and that’s ok, but you can’t be a dick if you want to take care of that urge. women are horny too, but men are driven to hump and impregnate every thing they can and and women are more selective about who they choose to mate with, culturally determining who will stay with them and care for them and their child while you biologically determine if their breasts or butt are big enough to store enough fat so she can keep breastfeeding while you trudge across the savannah in the dry season.
what really interests me in all of that, is that nations and neighborhoods where women have freedom over their own reproduction and access to birth control naturally breed less — because they don’t want to have accidental babies. and unwanted children are at the root of poverty, people aren’t prepared for unexpected children, families can’t provide for them. living conditions in african nations improved dramatically once birth control was introduced.
the book freakonomics contains data that shows that access to birth control and legal abortion lead to a dramatic drop in crime, welfare and pressure on social services within less than a generation. there is historical precedence here — the right of the father of the family to take a child to the hills and abandon it to the wolves was a core value and law of roman society. if a man couldn’t handle supporting a child, he could reject it no matter if the mother wanted to raise the child or not. in a troop or a tribe, the alpha male will kill his competitor’s progeny so the women will care for his offspring and not use the resources to care for the others.
we’re way more culturally mature than that now, but sex and breeding is still a matter of sustaining life. dominating and forcing women to have babies is one of the worst things we can do to our own societal and economic cultural health, and now, the biological survival as a species. we no longer need to breed to survive our environment. or continually breed to offset the babies that die and don’t make it to adulthood to keep passing on those genes. it’s quite the opposite. if you want to stop redistribution of wealth via welfare in a more complicated society and economy, let people have babies when they want to and not when they have to. if society forces someone to have a baby, they should force themselves to help support it. if you say you want freedom, accept that the most basic freedom is over one’s own body.
let’s be real, no one is a compassionless monster about their own genetic progeny. we are wired to reproduce, our emotions are there to protect the children. no mother wants to have the master of the house rip their baby from their arms and take it outside of town so wolves can eat it. we think babies are cute so we don’t abandon them. no one who needs to abort a pregnancy is doing it casually or out of cruelty. they are doing it because they don’t have a choice. forcing them to have the child is damning them both to a worse life. the mother’s first parenting instinct is to realize she needs to do what is best for the child. that’s a hard decision. probably the hardest anyone has to make.
on a global scale, we need to reproduce less to maintain the balance of the ecosystem that supports us. we have no real large predators keeping our numbers in check. we have stalled the two viral predators that have recently evolved from the ecosystem to kill us off and get things back to normal balance — aids attacks the breeding population and infects the infant at birth. ebola kills its host with amazing speed. our species itself is like a virus that is killing its host — spreading completely unchecked and using technology to break natural balance. at the rate they mutate and evolve, a virus will eventually appear that will take us out. there will be a portion of the human population that will have genetic immunity, and after the bottle neck, their genes will proliferate and it will start all over again.
those genes will also probably have selective factors for being more tolerant of higher temperatures. but let’s save that for another time.
i’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject, counter arguments, and other information. let’s discuss this, learn from each other, and be smart. ignorance just keeps making things worse.
